raising expecations

Attitude makes a big difference in how things turn out, but actually changing a less than helpful attitude is easier said than done. The difficulty is not that the way to get there is a big secret. We don't see it because we don't want to go where it would take us. The solution involves letting go of some of our most fundamental beliefs because of how they create, perpetuate, and exacerbate a vicious circle wherein the way we seek satisfaction yields bad outcomes which in turn produce disappointment, a soured attitude, and increasingly wrong-headed and dysfunctional approaches.

If we are not getting what we want out of life, we might need to step back and ask ourselves whether what we are pursuing is even capable of providing any actual satisfaction. If our best efforts are thwarted or if accomplishing what we set out to do leaves us feeling unfulfilled, just trying harder is probably not the solution. There is a pretty good chance that there is something fundamentally wrong with our approach. Conventional wisdom is that we just need to lower our expectations, but that is a prescription for even greater disappointment.

The only thing worse than unmet expectations is expecting too little out of life. The problem is not that we expect too much, but is instead that we expect too little. As the famous quote from the movie "Auntie Mame" goes, "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death". Too often, they are starving simply because they don't show up.